Phantom does Phantom
by ShadowedMistress
Summary: Lerouxs character are forced to direct the 2004 movie. Fop bashing, Erik glomping, chaos and COOKIES!


**Disclaimer: Ok if I owned Erik don't you think I would be spending my time doing…_other…_things then writing ridiculous phiction? Nothing in here is mine. Not even me! Depressing isn't it?**

**A/N: ok I apologise for the first chapter as there will not actually be any filming involved, im using it to introduce our characters and allow myself to have a little fun with them…mmmmm Erik….sorry wondered off for a moment there, it's the purple hair its gone to my head, never let me get bored I take it out on my hair. Anyways where was I? Oh yes this is actually my first phic/fic so it's probably going to be terrible but I'd really like input on how to improve! So have a cookie and review! hands out double chocolate chip cookies.**

Erik: I promised you I would not harm them. Would I break my promise to you?

Christine: I would still feel much better if I saw with my own eyes that they are both alive and well.

Erik: _walking over to a nearby broom closet Well… they are alive, and…Erm… I'm sure they are quite well…I would say ask them but I doubt you will get much of an answer out of them. opens broom closet to reveal a very roped, gagged and tied up Joel Schmacher and Andrew Lloyd-Webber, when they spotted Erik their eyes promptly grow to the size of saucers_

Christine: Erik!

Erik: Aww come on Christine, I was only doing what I was told.

Christine: Since when do you do anything any one asks you?

Erik: I'd do anything you ask me to do.

Christine: Anything?

Erik: Anything.

Christine: Hmmm…I'll keep that in mind. That doesn't explain why you are following Her orders.

Erik: _looks rather nervous _Well it turns out that She is one of Them!

Christine: No!

Erik: Yes.

Christine: You mean an all-powerful-able-to-do-anything-She-wants-too-no-laws-or-boundaries one of Them!

Erik: _nods his head gravely _I am afraid so.

Christine: What does she ship?

Erik: E/C, EOC… but judging from the amount of times She has hinted at removing items of clothing off of my person, I think She just wants me to herself.

Christine: Is Raoul safe?

Erik: _mutters under his breath _When is he ever?

Christine: Pardon didn't quite catch that?

Erik: I said I'm sure he'll be fine.

_Right at this moment a very bouncy hyper 17 year old bouncy into the room being careful to spill a rather large basket of rather large cookies_

Authoress: _To Erik _Have you done what I asked?

Erik: Of course your all-powerful and almighty authoressness. _points to the still open closet to reveal a very roped, gagged and tied up Joel Schmacher and Andrew Lloyd-Webber_

Authoress: Excellent. _Slams door closed _How many times Erik you may call me Mistress.

Erik: _gulp_

Authoress: Here have a cookie.

Erik: _takes a cookie and stares at it as though he expects it to be spiked_

Authoress: Now we have those two fools out of the way, where are the rest of the directing crew and the cast members. As soon as we have got every one together we can start shooting the opening scenes.

Christine: Oh I know where they all are I'll go get them it wont take long. _looks desperate to find an excuse to get away from the slightly less then sane authoress_

Authoress: ok and don't worry there's no rush at all… After all I have Erik here to keep me company _gives Erik a very suggestive grin_

Christine: _gone_

Erik: Meep!

**Meanwhile Christine has wondered off very quickly to gather the rest of the cast and crew and warn them of the Authoress. She approaches a broom closet very much like the one from earlier upon opening it we discover the entire cast for the 2004 film production for The Phantom of the Opera all of whom are already in costume and all the characters from Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera, needless to say it was a rather large closet.**

Raoul: I am not coming out!

Gerry Butler: Me neither I know what happens when young authoresses try to get their hands on me…I'm still in therapy from the last fan Fiction I was pulled into.

Christine: It will only be worst for you if you don't… besides I thing she got her hands a little too full of Erik to be killing or groping anyone else at the present.

**After much persuasion on Christine's part all necessary peoples are coaxed out of the closet and led back to the room where our poor Erik had been left in the merciless hands of our very own authoress. As the door is opened a rather unusual scene awaits them, yes it's the scene of every phan girls dreams…well one of them. Erik was laying on his back on the floor backing a valiant attempt at keep his trousers about his waist and done up and was doing a rather good job of it until…**

Erik: Christine I swear this is NOT how it looks… NOOO! Get off of me you strange little purple haired misfit OI!

Authoress: _finally giving up due to large amount of people now in the room _Well yay for black boxers is all im saying.

Erik: I don't think I am going to survive this.

Authoress: Of course you will… HE _glares at Raoul_ on the other hand may not.

Raoul: Meep

Erik: _smirk_

Authoress: Right then onto business is every one here? Come on people line up line up whilst I take the register.

Christine: …?

Authoress: Just checking everyone is here so don't you"…?" me. _continues to do just that_ (**writing down everyones names would take far too long but you know who should be here**) ok have I missed anyone?

Old Guy In Wheelchair: _wheeze_ yes puff me wheeze

Authoress: Whoops oh yeah…elderly Fop. Ok now that is defiantly everyone here are the scripts. And whether or not any of us including myself like it we are sticking to the script! Anyways I have cookies for _everyone!_

**After several tedious minutes of cookie and script handing out everything was set and ready for shooting…**

**A/N: Okay now you have been introduced to the mad world of me what do you think? Please please review and remember this is my first phic/fic.**

**I'm told I am completely full of rubbish and useless facts so I thought I share them with you. **

**_Useless bit of information #1: _Did you know that a ducks quack is the only sound in the world that does not echo?**


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